What I Wore: Shirt (ModBod), Blazer (Cat World via Yesstyle.com), Locket (Gift), Bracelet (New York and Company), Pants (Wet Seal), Shoes (Old Navy)
This tree and boulder combo has fascinated us since the blog started; we pass on the way to many of our common photo shoot locations, but have never stopped at it before. It reminds me of one of those screen-savers. You know the ones; they're all very calm and mediative somehow.
We probably could have used some of that calm at the photoshoot. As it was, an act of carelessness led to the camera being left on the roof when we drove from this site and...yeah. You all know how that story ended. The Boy is a very positive person, the doesn't-cry-over-spilt-milk kind, but this is one of those infuriating moments where you know it didn't need to have happened, right? Strangely, one thing that he said about it was that it woke him up and reminded him that he wanted to live a more deliberate life. This has manifested in cleaning out the home office and getting projects done while we wait for the new camera to arrive.
But it got me thinking too. What does it mean to live a deliberate life. Honestly, things have been crazy around these parts. I never feel like I'm quite all there. You might not have been able to tell; it hasn't been mentioned on the blog. I like to keep Never Fully Dressed (Without a Style) a positive place because it is my place on the internet and there is enough negativity out there. But there's a line between positivity and authenticity, and somethings I've been afraid to mention here. So...
Things I've been afraid to mention
1) I substitute teach. This is not where I ideally want to be; I want to teach in an elementary classroom of my own. Every single job I've applied to for the last five years has literally had over a hundred applicants each. Usually more. If you've been job hunting recently, this is not news, but if you want to tell me about how you just sort of fell into your job thirty years ago...well, then it is news. Hiring time is coming around again, and can, at times, be very hard to face and be positive about. But you gotta try.
2) I suffer from chronic migraines. I'll admit to the silver lining that other people might have worse migraines. I don't generally throw up, nor do I go temporarily blind, as some do. But I get them all the time, and they are still pretty debilitating. There are a lot of things that can trigger my migraines and I'm not always as careful as I should be, but sometimes I am and I still get them. Certain meds tend to help a lot, but I'll average nine or ten migraines a month. This is a big goal of the summer: get my headaches more under control.
3) I've mentioned earlier that a family member came home from the hospital. Obviously, I can't talk too much about this for their privacy. Still, being part of a person's support network and one of the primary caregivers to a elderly person can sometimes seem to take over.
4) I'm not sure most readers are very clear on where I live. And maybe you don't care (that is perfectly fine). I live with my parents. Yes, I'm sure some people would say this is rather sad and pathetic. It works for us, and I've always been grateful. My parents are in many ways my closest friends. We live in one town and The Boy lives in another town. I'll be moving there after the wedding, and stay there now from time to time. We are working on decorating it and fixing it up. It is not such a long distance relationship as many; we probably shouldn't complain, but it can get old to travel the thirty miles back and forth all the time. I am beyond excited to be living in the same place so soon. He's the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep and the first one I want to see on waking up!
5) Is it okay to talk about the wedding here? I'm never very clear on how much it too much. No one wants to be a wedding-bore, nor a bridzilla. I'm not going to say wedding planning has never been stressful, but mostly it has gone surprisingly well (ask me again in a month and you might get a different answer). All our vendors but the baker have been hired, and all our venues booked. We start the pre-martial counseling with the pastor tomorrow. I've got my dress, and the bridesmaids are getting theirs. It has kept us busy. A good busy, but busy nonetheless.
What does it all mean in terms of living a deliberate life? Not sure, but I think it is something I'll be exploring in the upcoming months (and blog posts). After all, I'm beginning a new chapter in my life here soon. Might as well be looking at what else that can mean besides a new mailing address. <3